06272017Headline:

10 Reasons to “Grow Your Own” Valentine’s Date

by Jenny Hansen

Photo credit: Photopin (see below)

Photo credit: Photopin (see below)

Valentine’s Day is still a week away, and all of my single pals are already sick of it. Everywhere (except this post) there are hearts and flowers, and proclamations to buy a bit of romance.

The hubs and I think going out on V-Day is dining suicide, but if you must go out, for the love of Cupid, make a reservation NOW!

If you stay home with your honey, I’ve got a foolprooof 4-step plan:

  1. If possible, send the kids out of the house, or put them to bed early.
  2. Plan a simple meal that can be reheated if #3 takes a while.
  3. Get naked.
  4. Buy a great card in advance. The great ones are long gone by the 14th.

If you’re single, I’ve got fun ideas for you too. (I am all about MORE.)

Russ-GrowDate-FemaleRuss-GrowDate-Man

Where were these things back when I was single?

The Russ Grow-A-Date Male is available at eBay for $2.95. (I got a male and a female at the local drug store for $2 each.) That’s cheaper than a rose or a box of chocolates!

Their marketing?

Place friend in room temp water.
Remain Untouched in water for several hours for full growth.
slowly shrinks to the smaller size when removed from water.
Your friend can be grown over and over again!!

I tell ya, these have it all over trying to force a Valentine’s date, especially in a new relationship. The entertainment value alone is tremendous. Way better than a Chia pet.

10 great reasons to “Grow Your Own” Valentine’s Date:

  1. No worrying about said date wandering off (or leaving you).
  2. No obnoxious texts before or after.
  3. No emotional drama. (Wanna see V-Day drama? Read about my pal Alicia and “Get Off Me.”)
  4. These things increase to 600% their normal size when wet (just sayin).
  5. You can do whatever you want for Valentine’s Day.
  6. Minimal clothes!
  7. The “no poaching” rule doesn’t apply – feel free to share with your pals.
  8. No crowds, unless you and your friends decide to “grow” together.
  9. No worrying about “where your relationship is going.”
  10. Do-It-Yourself-ing is COOL.

What are your plans for V-Day this year? Do you celebrate or ignore it? What about your best/worst Valentine’s Day ever? Continue the discussion at the #SocialIn hashtag on Twitter or SocialInDC on Facebook!

~ Jenny
@JennyHansenCA

About Jenny Hansen

By day, Jenny provides training and social media marketing for an accounting firm. By night she writes humor, memoir, women’s fiction and short stories. After 18 years as a corporate software trainer, she’s delighted to sit down while she works.

When she’s not at her personal blog, More Cowbell, Jenny can be found on Twitter at JennyHansenCA or at Writers In The Storm.

© 2014 Jenny Hansen. All content on this page is protected by copyright. If you would like to use any part of this, please contact me at the above links to request permission.

photo credit: Shandi-lee via photopin cc


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